How things are going these days. . .

Today is the third day of my second round of HCG shots. The first two days of course are loading days, so today is the first day on the 500 calories. Mentally, I am totally there. Physically, it has been a tough day. I am sure that I had the same hunger pangs when I did the first round three months ago, but I had pneumonia then and I didn't really care about anything. I really feel it now. I will be strong and prevail though. I haven't cheated so far, and I won't. This is too important to getting my life back. I am going to get a Vitatrim shot tomorrow, so hopefully that will boost my energy levels. The first few days are the most difficult. The thing about eating on a VLCD is that when you do get to eat, anything you eat tastes GREAT! So, at this point I am down 47 pounds and I am looking forward to seeing that number drop. It was kind of nice having my load days fall right at Christmas though!

Christmas was great. For the first time ever, I was actually ready a week ahead of time. I was able to not get stressed out at all, and really enjoy the evenings, making a gingerbread house and baking cookies with Savannah. I also enjoyed a rare night out with Scott, to go do some shopping and out to a nice dinner. I felt this Christmas season was really nice and relaxing and non-stressful. You just have to work a little in the weeks running up to it, to make it such. I really wanted to sit back and enjoy the time with my family.

Savannah has thoroughly enjoyed herself this Christmas. She loved all of her toys and was really excited about Santa coming. She was glad that Santa paid a visit to her school after she sent her letter, so she could revise her letter in person! As long as all of the Baby Alive dolls showed up under the tree, she was going to be happy. Which she was. She is a little mommy at heart. It really is quite touching.

As far as New Years resolutions go, I don't think I have actual resolutions. I made the commitment to a healthy lifestyle in September and I plan to continue on the journey. I started dedicating myself to consciously trying to save money on groceries and other things a few months ago, and of course I plan to continue this as well. I want to become a better wife, better mother, better friend and communicator. Ultimately, I want to do these things through the will of God and what he wants for me.

It is December 7, and I am currently down 47 pounds. I started eating sugar and carbs again on Saturday the 4th, and quite honestly it scares me to death! I have discovered that I am totally addicted to sugar. I can handle eating a small portion of pasta or potatoes and THANK GOODNESS I can now order a small cheeseburger and be totally satisfied, rather than a Whopper, but candy, cake, cookies, I taste that sugar and I want MORE! It is awful. I hope that doing this for a year will get me straightened out. I don't want to live my life without sugar, I have to be able to get it under control. At this point I can't wait to start back on my shots and get this weight loss started again.

Scott had his birthday yesterday. He turned 39, and I would love to throw him a party next year when he turns 40. Hard to believe that he was 20 when I first met him.

It is so cold here. Today the high is 22 degrees. I know that I have nothing on the Alaskans in the family, but it is still really cold. When I come to visit you, I would like it to be a least 50 degrees! We have a several inches of snow here and I hope it doesn't do this all winter. I think it is time for me to migrate south again!

As for everything else, we are busy getting ready for Christmas. We have already made the first batch of Christmas cookies, the tree is up and four presents are under it. Savannah is anxiously awaiting making the gingerbread house and she loves listening to Christmas carols. She also has an advent calender, which is helpful when she asks if Santa is coming today. The shopping is getting done, slowly but surely, and even though I am freezing my toes off, it still remains one of my favorite times of the year.

Transition

After my forty days of shots, I go into a period known as transition. On the day I started transition I had lost 40 pounds. I have been in transition for one week and I am now down 43 pounds! WooHoo! That is great for one week of transition. Transition is the first three weeks after the shot phase in which you can add certain other foods, such as eggs, dairy, small amounts of fat, more veggies and berries. I can also eat between 1200-1500 calories per day. Honestly though, I don't think I am hitting that everyday. I eat until I am full, and that happens fast. Like today, I had two eggs, two pieces of turkey bacon and a slice of cheese for breakfast. At lunch, I had a bowl of beanless chili, and I had the same for supper. And I had an apple at lunch. I am full, satisfied, and I really don't think I hit 1200. This satisfied feeling is awesome. I don't know that I have ever felt this way.

The three weeks following transistion, I can add everything else into my diet. In very small quantities. Otherwise I will be sick as a dog. I can add starch and sugar back in. I am almost afraid of it, but I am trying not to be. That is unhealthy in the total opposite direction. I want to have no issues with food at all. I have selected a few days that I am going to allow treats. My family Christmas party, my work Christmas party, Christmas Eve and my husbands birthday. But, I am going to be very careful.

Then Christmas Day I start my shots again. That day and the day after are my load days. Can't think of two better days! I just hope I don't make myself sick!

I am so glad the hcg diet entered my life. I do believe that it is saving it.

Clippin' Coupons

In the first phase of my diet, I have lost 40 pounds. I am currently in transition, which is when I can add fats, dairy and eggs. I also can eat more veggies and fruits, but I still have to be VERY careful about eating no sugar or starch. And it is everywhere! I will be in transition until December 4th. At that point I can have anything, but in serious moderation. Like I can maybe have it one or two days a week, and not all day, like one thing. I can do that until Christmas, when I have my load days ( when I can eat anything and everything that is not nailed down) and start over with my shots. I really hope that I lose another ten pounds before Christmas.

On another note, I have joined the coupon extravaganza! I have a binder full of baseball card holders, and they are the perfect size to put your coupon in and be able to see them, and to keep them organized. I clip coupons all Sunday afternoon and organize them. It is so fun and when you realize that you are going to get a super deal, it is so exciting! The secret is working the sales and the coupons together! I am a believer. I mean, why pay full price if you don't have to?

Fall

Today is voting day! I hope that we get a major change for this country, for the good. Everybody in office, just needs to be voted out (unless they are Republican, haha!).

I have now lost 34 pounds. I am very excited about this. I hope that I am down 40 pounds by the end of next week. That is a nice round number. Last night, for something different to eat, because I am so limited, I chopped up my ground beef (96% lean) and cooked it and then diced my tomato and put it in the pan and cooked it up with the beef and added salt, pepper, chili powder, garlic and a little crushed red pepper.. It was really good! It was kind of like a little chili. I will definitly try it again sometime.

This past weekend was Halloween and Savannah had a big time. Friday she went on a hayride and went trick-or-treating with her school. She was dressed as Super-Girl. Saturday we took her to a trunk or treat and then over to Derek's to trick or treat up and down his road. Derek and Haley did a cook-out and everyone came. Savannah and Cade had more fun handing out candy and drinks than they did trick-or-treating. They ended up with over 300 trick-or-treaters. Jackson was so cute, dressed as a cheeseburger.

Fall is definitly upon us, with the leaves on the ground and the nights getting to the 30's. Winter will be here before we know it.

Dreams?

Do you ever just want to have a pity party? I have so many things that I do have to be thankful for, including my amazing weight loss (now at 27 pounds), but I wish so badly that I could be a stay-at-home wife and mother. My daughter is growing up right before my eyes and I feel like someone else is raising her and the time that I have with her is what is "left over". I know that this isn't what God intends and it really upsets me. I wish that I could find a way to make it without having to work outside the home so much. And I do so hope that this is not a dream.

Family, Friends, and a Wedding

This past weekend was so great! My brother and his wife and girls came up Friday night, because we have a friend that we grew up with getting married Saturday morning. They got there at about 9pm and Savannah and Madison went wild. Savannah is almost 5 and Madison is 6, so they love to play together. Audrey is a 8 and a little calmer. But everyone was excited nonetheless and no one got to sleep until after 11:00.

The wedding was at 10am, so we had to rise and shine quite early and get everyone ready. We had no idea the wedding was outdoors and did not really dress accordingly. We still had a nice time though and it did warm up. The wedding was really nice and David looked so happy. His wife Beth seems to be really nice and it appears that they have a lot in common. I wish them all the happiness in the world!

At the reception we caught up with friends that we haven't seen in forever! I haven't seen Phil and Jeri since their wedding day 12 years ago! I hadn't seen Daniel and Zane in five years and it had been the same with David. With the exception of David and Beth, because according to David he had some "business" :) to attend to, we (me, Savannah, Ken, Rondi, Audrey, Madison, Daniel, Trish, Phil, Jeri, and Zane) went to Cheddar's for lunch. We had such a great time visiting.

Speaking of Cheddars for lunch. . . I knew that this would probably happen, so I had taken my meat in a container and I ate it on the way to the restaurant. Then at the restaurant, I ordered a tomato and an orange. I told the waiter that I was on a medically restricted diet and he was so accomadating. He didn't even charge me! I tipped him really well. I am just glad that I survived my first restuarant outing with such success! Especially at one of my favorite spots. IT CAN BE DONE! And I had it in me!

I went to my diet doctor yesterday. Officially three weeks and I am down 25 pounds! I am so excited. It is always nice to have a second person at a different scale confirm what your scales at home say. Look out people, you won't recognize me this time next year!

Success

Two weeks and a day in and I am down twenty pounds! And I am not hungry. I got hungry the first week a little bit, but now I get hungry at lunch and at dinner. When I am supposed to eat. In my whole life, I have never been so succesful at weight loss. I would love to fast forward to this time next year and see where I am at.

I have a fellow co-worker who is also doing this with me. She started her low calorie diet today. It will be exciting to do this with someone else. I hope that she has as much success as I have!

My Journey Begins. . . with Pneumonia

It was explained to me that the first two days that I injected with hcg, I would eat anything and everything that I could. They are called loading days. It is encouraged to eat as much fat and sugar that you can possible hold. I know! What a way to start a diet! As I said, I don't know exactly the science behind this but I was sure willing to give it a try. So, with much anticipation, I awoke Sunday morning, with a sore throat I might add, and gave myself my first injection. We had plans to meet my mother-in-law for breakfast at Cracker Barrel, where I intended to eat to great capacity. By the time we left the restaurant, I new that I had a bad sinus infection, and by that afternoon I was flat on my back. And on a day that I was supposed to be focused on eating! I tried to force myself as much as I could. The next day, I felt even worse, still trying to eat, and I had to go to work. By then end of the day, I told my boss that I would not be there the following day, that I had to go to the doctor.

Contagious pneumonia, the diagnosis is. And with a warning not to go back to work for the rest of the week and for goodness sake, don't give it to your daughter. Meanwhile, I am supposed to be preparing these very specific meals that I don't even feel like eating because I felt that bad. I may have never been that sick in my life. Scott helped me out immensly. Not only was he Savannah's only caregiver for the week, he prepared food for me and just did everything that needed to be done. And keeping Savannah out of my room was a chore in itself. Especially at bedtime, because she always wants me at bedtime. But, she survived, Scott survived and so did I. It took about a week and I am feeling much better.

Meanwhile though, as my body was at work, in that week while diligently giving myself my shots, I lost 14 pounds. In a week! And the doctor tells me that it is not water, it is fat. Visceral fat, which is the unwanted unneeded fat, not structural fat that we need. I am taking his word for it, but I am thrilled. I hope that at the end of forty days I will be down fifty pounds. That is my hope. All I can do is everything that I have been told, and we will see where I wind up.

And so, I continue on my journey, feeling much better now. I am changing my life and hopefully those around me as I go.

New Lease on Life

My life will be changing for the better soon. I am taking major action with my health. I have to make drastic changes, as I am now 150 pounds overweight. I have been for a long time and I am so over it. I will be blogging about my journey for my own sake. Others may join me for the ride!

About six weeks ago, one of my friends came into the bank and I had noticed that she had lost a lot of weight and I wanted to know how she had done it. She told me that she had been seeing a doctor that was giving her hcg shots (the pregnancy hormone) and eating organically. My friend, is also a filmmaker and she suddenly tilted her head and looked at me and asked me if I would be interested in being a case study in her documentary that she was making about the diet. All expenses paid.

Can I just say that at that moment, I felt as though God had handed me a gift straight from heaven. I immediatley said yes. I didn't have to think about it. I have to give myself shots everyday, but I don't even care. I need drastic intervention to take care of my health.

So, Tuesday I met my friend at the diet Doctor (Dr. Rodgers) and had my first consultation. He is so nice, and so are everyone that works at the office. They gave me the first month of medicene and injectors and explained the diet to me and everything that I needed to know and do/don't . I could hardly wipe the smile off of my face when I was leaving the office. I feel as though I have been handed a second chance at life. I start my first shot on Sunday the 26th. I can't wait.

Family Vacation

Tuesday, September 7 our family, plus Nana, left for our trip to Myrtle Beach. We were all very excited, as you might expect. Having lived there, we know our way around and have lots of friends that we were excited to see. We arrived at the Coral Beach Resort at about 3pm and checked in. After unloading, we went to Wal-Mart to buy some groceries and got settled in for the week.
Wednesday, Scott went to see his friends that he used to work with and Savannah and I went to see mine. My friend Rebecca was coming to meet us at the hotel to spend the afternoon on the beach with us and go to dinner. We had a great afternoon on the beach with her, even though I got a tad sunburned. Savannah had a blast in the ocean and playing with other kids. That night we got ready and went to eat at Joe's Crab Shack which was great as always and then went to Build-A-Bear Workshop, where we waited in line FOREVER! Finally we left with the ICarly bear, stuffed and loved and dressed in an ICarly outfit, to the tune of $40.00. Oh well, what is vacation for?!
Later that evening, Judy, Savannah and I were on the balcony listening to karaoke when Savannah decided to go inside. She didn't realized that the sliding glass door was closed and she slammed into it hard! I thought she had broken her nose. Anyway she fell back and was crying and I carried her to bed and she seemed to be okay. The next morning she woke up crying and saying that her foot hurt. It was swollen and she wouldn't step on if for anything. We ended up in urgent care and spent most of the day, with the end result being that she was in a boot and a wheelchair and couldn't stand on her foot until we got back home to see a specialist. But at least it wasn't broken! Thank God!
So, we set about making the most of our time. She actually was quite patient and really enjoyed the attention she got. She was able to get in the pool several times, and she rode the rides at the carnival. And boy has she enjoyed that wheelchair. She wants to go everywhere in it! Even to the bathroom.
Friday night, Scott and I had date night and we went to Crabby Mike's for crab legs. It was wonderful. Haven't been there for three years and I thouroughly enjoyed it. After we ate, we went to visit Missy and Damon and there little girl Hallie, who we hadn't seen in three years as well. It was great catching up with them.
Saturday was a really full day, as it was our last. We swam, and then went to visit Kevin, Candy and Talon. Afterward we visited with MaryLou and Chris for a few minutes. Then we went to Broadway and shopped around for a little bit and let Savannah ride the carnival rides. Afterward she went on a shopping spree at the Disney store and spent almost all of her vacation money that she had saved. After eating at Cheeseburger in Paradise we called it a night.
Sunday we came home and boy was I glad to be home. This has been our most challenging vacation ever, but we still made the best of it. It is still my favorite time of the year!

Wedding Weekend

Thursday, I left work at three and Savannah and I headed down the road to Lexington, South Carolina. Travel went rather smoothly until I hit Asheville right at rush hour and with road work going on, well, you get the picture. We got to our hotel at around 8:30. We made our way to our room, which was very comfy and nice and settled in for the evening.

Friday, at breakfast in the lobby, I ran into all my cousins from Alabama and my aunt Donna and uncle David. It was so good to see them. It seems like forever since I had talk to them. After breakfast, mom and I went to get a pedicure and Dad and Savannah met us at Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch. They have got awesome lunch specials! After lunch we went back to the hotel and went swimming. Savannah loves the pool. Friday evening, we all got dressed up and went to the rehearsal dinner, at which Savannah would eat nothing except chocolate cake. It was REALLY good chocolate cake. We had prime rib, chicken cordon bleu, squash casserole, steamed asparagus, salad, and mashed potatoes. It was delicious. It was kind of relaxed and we were able to visit with other family members.

Saturday, we went to Fatz for lunch and didn't get back to go swimming until 2:00 which was kind of dissapointing because Savannah had been wanting to swim with her cousins and they were packing up to leave at that point. But we still hung out at the pool with Mitch, Brian, Domini, and Donna and mom for a while. Savannah played in the pool till I dragged her out of it. After all we did need bath and showers before the big event!

THE BIG EVENT! was bigger than pretty much anything I have ever seen. There were over 800 people in attendance. The ceremony was gorgeous and the reception was over the top. We actually ended up leaving really early though because I was terrified that Savannah was going to get lost from me in the great throng of people. You can just turn around and she will disappear. Raegen looked gorgeous though and I am happy that she had her dream. After getting back to the hotel, Domini, Mitch, Corky, Brian, Chelsea and I all went to Applebee's while our parents babysat for a few hours. We had a great time catching up. The one bad thing about such large events is that I didn't even get to say hello to my cousin that got married, or her parents. That made me sad, because I love them very much and I don't know when I will see them next.

The ride back to Virginia on Sunday was not even overly long and mundane. It actually went by very quickly. Just hate that it had to end so quickly and that I have to get back to work. For this week anyway. Next week, I am headed to the beach!!

Visiting

Well, after a flurry of cleaning and getting the spare room ready, my parents arrived on Saturday. Surprisingly, it is still quite clean and it is now Tuesday afternoon. This has been of course, thanks to the effort of everyone.

We are having a great visit. Saturday, we had dinner and just hung out talking and visiting with each other. Savannah of course, wanted Granny to climb up and down the stairs about a thousand times to her room. She had out Hi-Ho Cherry-O! and Chutes and Ladders and Cootie! and all other games that are anywhere in the vicinity of being near our residence. She found them.

Sunday, we went to church and out to lunch at Los Arcos. After, we went home and rested and watched a little TV and just had a relaxing afternoon.

Monday, mom and dad had a day to themselves while Scott and I went to work and Savannah went to her first day of preschool. After supper last night we watched "Horton Hears A Who" and when Savannah went to bed, mom and dad watched "Kingdom Come" and laughed like hyenas. They laughed so loud that Savannah was having a hard time getting sleep. She kept saying, "What in the world is going on down there?"

So, today I am at work (you can tell I am working really hard, huh?), and Granny and Granddaddy have taken Savannah out for a day of fun. They went out for breakfast at the IHOP and then went shoe shopping. The last that I heard, they were at Sugar Hollow Park playing on the playground and getting ready to go on a hike. I also know that a visit to the Ice Cream Stop is on the agenda. Makes me wish that I was off work today! I am glad that she is having the opportunity to spend time with her grandparents.

Thankfully it is only Tuesday and we still have until Sunday till we have to say good bye. We are having a really great visit!

Oh! The Anticipation

They say that the most exciting thing about vacation is the anticipation of it, and I do believe that is true. I find myself almost wishing my life away for at least one month before anything exciting comes up. The next few weeks are going to be exciting at the Rhea household.

My parents are coming for a visit on Saturday and they are staying until Thursday. Savannah is so excited to see her Granny that it is about to drive her crazy. She hasn't seen Granny since the end of April when we went to visit them. My dad came for a short visit later in May, so we have seen him since, but it has been a long time since we have seen my mom. Four months to a four year old seems like forever.

Then, on Thursday, we are leaving (my parents, Savannah and I) for Lexington, SC to attend my cousin Raegen's wedding weekend extravaganza. I am so excited to get away for a few days and spend it with aunts, uncles and cousins. We are all staying at the same hotel, so our kids will be swimming and playing and having a ball together. That with the rehearsal dinner and wedding, will make for a fun, memorable and busy weekend.

Then, Savannah and I will come home and go to school and work for one week and then. . . off to the beach we go. Scott, Savannah and I will pick up Nana and head to Myrtle Beach for a week, where amidst all the touristy things that we love to do, and swimming and relaxing, I will feel at home, because it was once my home. I will visit some of my dearest friends and cry that I can't see them more often. We will go to Build-A-Bear and build a ridiculously overpriced stuffed animal and not bat an eye. I will pay ten dollars for tickets for my daughter to ride three rides at Broadway at the Beach and it will be over in five minutes. And I will love every second of it.
And so will she. Can you feel my anticipation building?

And then we will come home, and it will be over, and I am not anticipating that!

Weekend

What a great weekend! Scott had to work Saturday morning, so Savannah and I got out early and went to Target. Then we met up with Aunt Martha and went to the Highlands Festival. We had a lot of fun looking at all the crafts and eating Kettle Corn. How can you not love that stuff?! Scott met with us in time for lunch and we all had hotdogs before Savannah got a glitter tattoo and jumped in a bouncy house for what seemed like an hour! Then she wanted a blue slushie and we headed back to our car and on our way to Sam's.

Thank goodness I had a clean sundress for her in the car, because the blue slushie was all over the white t-shirt by the time we got to Sam's. No big deal. Children will be children!

Sunday we went to Nana and Gicky's so Scott could mow the yard and I went to Wal-Mart and did a little tax free shopping. After we went home last night, Scott was thrilled to watch the football game last night. His favorite time of year is fast approaching!

If only the week could be as nice and relaxing as the weekend!

The week of a child

This week Savannah has discovered that she loves fried shrimp and lasagna. I always love discoveries like this because it is yet something else that we have in common! This week is being quickly filled by field trips, which is my little adventurer's favorite passtime. Yesterday she rode on the Abingdon trolley, which she has been dying to do and today she is going to the Coomes Center to go swimming and on a picnic. When she found out her response was, "Woo-Hoo!" This is her standard response to anything that is exciting in her mind. She met a new friend the other day and said "Mom, don't you think she looks like Lena?" Now, I must interject that she has met Lena once, and it was four months ago, and the fact was that the little girl did indeed look a lot like Lena! Her brain doesn't forget anyone or anything. Of course this is what I would say, after all, I am her mother! I do love the unending excitement of a child. We should all take a lesson from them. Joy in all things!

My Savannah

I think of the times that I wondered whether or not I would have children. Whether it was during the time of my life that I really didn't think about it, or the year after we decided to try getting pregnant, when I was very obviously NOT getting pregnant; and I remember saying that it would be okay, that I wouldn't know what I was missing if I didn't have a baby. I am so glad that God decided to bless me with my Savannah.

From the moment they held her up for me to see, I was unequivocably, irrevocably, in love with my child. The last four and a half years have quite literally been the fastest years of my life. Milestone upon milestone pile up upon each other. I have always said that my daughter never sleeps. From early on, she has woken up many times per night, much to my chagrin; but since her fourth birthday she suddenly has been sleeping through the night. Not like I have heard other parents to say their children do, but 9:30 p.m.-6:30 am is AWESOME for her. And you know what? The times that she came and woke me up in the middle of the night, at the time were frustrating, but I look back and think of how sweet those time actually were; with her sweet breath breathing into my neck as she told me that she loved me. I wouldn't have had her any other way.

My sweet girl is just as adventureous as I am. When we go out, we go here, there and all around, and she doesn't want to go home. She always wants to go somewhere else. She loves to go everywhere. And she has always traveled well. Which has been a great blessing, because so much of our family lives so far away. Some of my favorite times in life are when Savannah and I go on trips together, just the two of us. They are such special bonding times.

Every day I thank my heavenly father for the precious gift that he has given me. When she orders blue ice cream with brown sprinkles, rejoices in a bubblebath, and tells her daddy "I love you cowboy" to which he responds, "I love you too cowgirl", I can't help but smile and be thankful for this beautiful gift that we have been graced with. . . . .my beautiful Savannah. Everyday is a gift.

Scott's Trip

My dear husband is on a plane as we speak, flying to Indianapolis for the Brickyard 400. He is so excited! He won the trip through ABC Supply ( his employer). ABC is a sponser of the race and every year they draw thirty-five names of their employees and treat them to an amazing weekend for the race. They fly them up on Friday, put them up at the Hilton downtown and pay for everything!! He gets to tour the pits on Saturday and watch qualifying, and Sunday the race from the luxury box. All food, all drink included. Then he flies home on Monday. I hope that my honey has an AMAZING time!

And now, six months later. . .

It is July 21, 2010. I haven't blogged now in six months. Mainly because I forgot how to get into the sight. Yes, I know--incredibly stupid. But I have figured it out and as I have a few moments, thought that I would check in and let everyone know what is up.

First and foremost, I have not lost the weight that I intended to lose. I am very frustrated about this fact. My husband has done an amazing job however and is down eighty pounds! I am so proud of him. He is running and doing just great.

As to what is going on in my life, it is very full, but not full of the things that I love. It is filled with work, work, work. I am not a lazy person, but I am not happy being tied to a job that I feel drains the life out of me and leaves nothing else for anyone. Primarily my husband and child, whom I love so much.

For those of you out there that feel like praying for a girlfriend, I could use all that you can send my way!

Cheerio!

The Weigh We Were

For anyone who has ever struggled with their weight, this one is for you.

My husband and I made a commitment to ourselves and to each other that this is the year--nothing is to stand in our way--that we take back our lives and get healthy. I am really trying hard not to look at all the other times that I have made that commitment to myself. I know that this time will be different. I have a daughter who will be four on Tuesday and I really want to change my life before she realizes that I am fat!

I have said all along that I won't hold my child back because of my being overweight and so far that really hasn't been an issue. I have put on my plus size bathing suit and braved it on the beach and at the pool many times. I play on the playground with her. But, as she gets older, she wants to go to Dollywood and all these places that her friends are talking about and I realize, you know, my rear end will not fit into a tilt-a-whirl or a roller coaster. I know that she is still a tad too young for those things but there are rides that she can ride, and who is going to ride them with her? I will not hold my child back! This is a point of great emotion for me.

I have been overweight now for sixteen years. And this is the last year. This is my time. This is my husbands time. It is actually hard for me to imagine my life being different because it has been this way for so long. I want to feel better. I am tired of hurting. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am young at heart and I love to have fun, but inside I feel tired and old. This is the end. Or, the beginning.

It is January 28. I started counting Points on Weight Watchers on the January 1. I have lost 14 pounds. Not bad, not bad. My cousin is getting married at the end of April and my first goal is to have lost 50 pounds by then. I will be seeing a lot of people that I haven't seen in a long time and I just want to be well on my way. So, here is to me and April 24! Cheers!